Playing Small is Costing You More Than You Realize with Dr. Jasmine Escalera

What if the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for isn’t in another relationship, opportunity, or validation—but in reclaiming your own power? That’s the provocative truth Dr. Jasmine Escalera brings to the table in this week’s podcast episode. With her signature blend of fierce honesty and deep compassion, Jasmine challenges listeners to rethink how they show up for themselves. Instead of convincing people to stay, she invites us to step into a version of ourselves that doesn’t shrink to fit—one that stands fully in its truth, unapologetically.

The heart of the conversation is Jasmine’s “Courage Framework,” a practical yet transformative mindset shift that dismantles the myth that courage requires fearlessness. Instead, Jasmine reframes courage as the act of moving forward with fear, not despite it. It’s a subtle but game-changing distinction—one that empowers you to take meaningful action without waiting to feel “ready.” Whether you’re battling self-doubt, navigating a big life change, or simply stuck in a loop of procrastination, her approach offers a grounded way forward.

This episode doesn’t just inspire—it equips. Jasmine digs into the hard truths about personal growth, including why it often feels so uncomfortable. Spoiler alert: growth requires discomfort because it challenges your current identity. Jasmine talks openly about the moment she decided to stop shrinking herself and how that act of radical self-honoring set off a chain reaction of transformation. Her vulnerability makes the conversation relatable, while her clarity and conviction make it empowering.

Equally powerful is the discussion around community. Jasmine emphasizes the importance of surrounding yourself with people who see your worth—even when you’re still learning to see it yourself. She invites listeners to reflect on who’s in their corner and whether those relationships support expansion or encourage smallness. It’s a potent reminder that sometimes, outgrowing people is part of the growth process.

For anyone tired of playing small and ready to reclaim their voice, their courage, and their space, this episode is a must-listen. Jasmine’s insights don’t just light a fire—they hold up a mirror. If you’ve been waiting for a sign to move, to speak, to act—this is it. Be one degree braver. Own your power. And stop convincing anyone to stay who doesn’t honor your rise.

 

Mary (00:01.102)
Jasmine Escalera, welcome to Recruiting Insider.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (00:04.773)
Hello, hello, I’m so excited to be here. This is really fun.

Mary (00:10.318)
Dr. Jasmine Escalera is a transformational coach, founder of Jasmine Escalera Coaching, and a creator of The Courage Crew. She empowers women through the art of reinvention, helping them embrace their fullest potential and live life on their own terms. Featured in HuffPost multiple times, she combines her expertise in neuropharmacology with a deep passion for spirituality.

to guide women through powerful life changes. So Jasmine, could you share how your personal experiences have shaped your commitment to helping women reinvent themselves?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (00:53.559)
my gosh, I love that question. You started it already.

Mary (00:55.898)
I’d jump right in, Boom!

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (00:57.367)
It goes way back, back into time. I would say that one of the biggest transformations that I’ve experienced in my life and the transformation that I feel has been the most impactful has been creating my business. You know you’re a business owner. When you step out of a nine to five and step out of the comfort of having the paycheck every other week and now you have to find your own clients and do your own thing and market yourself and brand yourself.

There’s a whole nother level of limiting beliefs, self-doubts, and a lot of things that have to be cleared in order for you to really create that successful business and really feel empowered enough to empower others. And so I would say that the biggest transformation that I’ve ever gone through, the biggest reinvention, is really creating my business. And my business comes from my personal story of being a Latina in very competitive, very white male-dominated spaces. So I was in STEM.

and just that feeling of not feeling included, but also not feeling represented. I grew up in the projects of Brooklyn, New York, and I felt like in every workplace that I was in, not only did I look different from everyone else, but I communicated different, I had different background, I had different beliefs, and it was very hard for me to feel accepted, and also very hard for me to portray my confident self.

So I felt like I would leave the workplace and that confident version of me would somehow appear, but when I was in those environments, it would really be disintegrated and I would feel as though I wasn’t that confident version of me. So my business really stems from that story of rebuilding my confidence within this particular kind of environment and releasing myself or getting myself out of the cycle of toxic work environments. So when I first started my business, it was really focused on helping women of color

in various different industries and fields who were feeling like, I feel like that confident version of me on the inside, but because of the environments and the places that I’m in, I really can’t let that inside of me shine. And how do I do that? And also how do I find not just the right career path for me, but also the right work environment for me? And that’s kind of was my biggest and my first big transformation, but so many more came after that.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (03:21.147)
I went through a divorce and I say that my divorce actually taught me how to love myself first. And I moved down to Miami, to South Beach to be closer to the beach, the water, and to embrace spirituality in a different way, which has completely been a major transformation in my life. And to me, reinvention and transformation is what we should be doing in this lifetime. We should be embracing the challenges and thinking about

who is the version of me that I need to be to face these challenges so that I can get through them and to the other side to that success and fulfillment that I’m really looking for.

Mary (04:03.886)
That was just so amazingly well articulated. And thank you so much for that response and that answer and really getting so vulnerable so early on in the podcast in this episode. you know, but I think that a lot of people will be able to relate to that and we’ll be able to relate to your story, Jasmine. And I mean, I know that, you know, on a certain level, I can most certainly relate because, you know, when I was first out of undergrad and I…

entered into the workforce. was working at a company that was focused on manufacturing and engineering. So it was very much male dominated, especially in some more of the technical fields where you would see some women in there, but usually they were in different roles that were like human resources or more customer service related. They weren’t into those hardcore STEM fields.

I could feel that, you know, kind of that brotherhood that sometimes you feel when a lot of dudes get together where, like you said, it’s, it’s hard to feel empowered. It’s hard to be yourself and to really figure out how to, you know, step into your own and, you know, to find that joy and find that fulfillment. So, you know, within your own story, I know that you said, you know, you, you were with all these people with different backgrounds and different

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (05:08.687)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (05:14.159)
Mm-hmm.

Mary (05:32.43)
beliefs and all these things and it really led to a lack of confidence, which I can completely relate to. How did you start to find that confidence?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (05:42.811)
It’s such a great question. so I think one of the biggest reasons why I love

communities and I love community work and why I founded the Courage Crew is because the very first thing that I needed to realize, and it took me some time to realize this, was that I was not alone. So I felt so incredibly isolated and like I was the only person going through that experience because there were no other women, there were no other Latinas who were going along with that experience and that journey with me. But when I opened up and I was vulnerable and I started to speak out about what I was experiencing and what

I was going through, having other women say, oh wow, like I experienced that too. And finding mentors, women who had experienced it, but who really rebuilt themselves, who built their courage, maybe found the right work environments, found other mentors and supporters. Having that was like the biggest aha moment in my life because I didn’t feel like I was alone. I didn’t feel isolated. And I had also found people who were either experiencing it

and could support me or experiencing it or experience and could give me valuable tips and advice. So what I always say is that when we go through challenging, painful experiences, and this could be in career, this could be in any aspect of your life, what we can often do, and I think this happens a lot with women as well because we try to take on it all, but what we can always shut ourselves down to the support and to the help.

problems asking for help. I know I did. I thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness and that I should just figure it out on my own. And what I always tell everyone is that the first baseline defense mechanism is try to find people who can help you. And even if all you find are those people who are going to validate the experience and say, yes, I am going through it too, just knowing that you’re not alone can be transformative. And then once you have that support system,

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (07:47.289)
then it becomes really about how do I define success in this area of my life? So how do I define success in my career? Or how do I define success in whatever area of life I’m focusing on? And who do I need to be? What actions do I need to take? What habits do I need to adopt? What mindsets do I need to adopt? Just to take baby steps to be that individual each and every day.

Mary (08:08.27)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (08:11.961)
So I remember one of the exercises that I did when I was really trying to rebuild my confidence in these kinds of environments was every single day I would ask myself, who is the person I want to be today? Who is the confident version of me I want to show up as? I would look at my calendar. I would see what meetings were on. And I would really play that scenario out in my mind. And I would really tell myself, what do I want to think about myself? What is the most confident thing I can think about myself?

What are some actions I want to try and take today? And at the end of the day, I would assess that from a space of love and compassion to myself. Because in the beginning, there were many times that I fell very short of my expectations for myself. And just knowing that that’s OK, even small things are really helpful. So it’s really about finding those support systems, getting that accountability, and then really defining what success means for you.

Mary (08:42.553)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (09:07.215)
and taking small actions each and every day to just build that up. Because once you take those actions, you see and you feel, you see the difference, you feel the difference, and that helps you to continue to progress it forward and have that momentum.

Mary (09:22.49)
I was doing a bit of research on your courage framework and I mean honestly it sounds life-changing. I absolutely love it. And you know what it includes you know for those of our listeners who you know maybe they don’t follow you and they’re not familiar with it. It includes fearless visioning, proactive execution, and empowered support. And I know you were you know just talking about that support element and I want to dive a little bit deeper

into all of these three components. So could you walk us through these three components of your program and really how we might be able to apply these to our own lives?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (10:04.835)
Yeah, yeah, I love that. So, you know, when you think about the visioning aspect, right?

So when we scroll on Instagram as an example, we’ll see somebody who has something or who’s doing something or who’s on a bomb vacation that we want to go on. And we immediately feel like this pang of jealousy. Or we’re just kind of like, dang, I want that. Or I should, I hate the word should, I should have that. What I always encourage people to do is whatever is external to you that you want, that you feel that pang of jealousy, that you feel that desire, that means that it’s

Mary (10:20.025)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (10:41.757)
awakening something in you that you truly do want to have. And so the visioning aspect is really what do you want your life to look like? You know, I don’t think we take enough time to take a step back and give ourselves that reflective time to say, what experiences do I want to have in this life or in this area of life that I’m focusing on? For example, my career, who do I want to be in this area of life? What do I want to do? What do I want to accomplish? And to allow yourself to go to that place where there’s no

Mary (10:44.506)
Mm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (11:11.677)
And you can use those triggers where you see people accomplishing certain things on LinkedIn or you see people accomplishing certain things in your life to say, these are the kinds of things that I really want to be able to achieve. And once you understand a little bit more about what you want to achieve, what you want to experience, what you want to have, then it’s really about creating an anchor point. What area of life do you want to create a transformation in where knowing

there will be a ripple effect into other areas. So for example, you wanna create wealth, you wanna leave a financial legacy for your family. You might wanna focus on your career and really being able to increase your visibility, your being able to get a promotion so that you can increase the pay that you receive so that way you can generate more ability to create wealth. So you vision set, you create the anchor for the area of life you wanna focus on.

and then you step into execution. And the execution isn’t like the task list and all the steps. It’s really about the process of embodiment. So in order for you to have the things you want, you have to transform. You’re not getting it now because you’re not doing the things you need to do, or you’re not essentially in the mindset of what you need to be in terms of achieving it, or you don’t have the daily habits, something’s off. So we have to almost kind of do like a gap analysis.

Mary (12:14.713)
Yeah.

Mary (12:32.143)
Mm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (12:35.341)
You want this, you’re here, what’s the gap in between? And what do we need to change? And how do we need to change that through the practice of embodiment, becoming that version of you, so that you’re executing in the right way? What we can often do is we can say, want this, and I’m going to find the steps to achieve it. But if you don’t work on your mindset first, you may have a list of actions to take, and you either won’t do it or you’re half but it.

Mary (13:03.566)
Yeah

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (13:04.943)
You’ll have but it because you don’t have that. You don’t feel empowered enough to take those actions. So it’s really about thinking about all of these things encompassed. And then the community, as I mentioned, having that supportive system is going to be so valuable in this. So any transformation really requires you to understand what is it that I desire? What is it that I intend to have? What kind of experiences do I want?

Who do I need to become to achieve that from the perspective of my mindset, the things that I do, my habits, who I am, and how can I get that supportive environment system structure people so that I can achieve this not alone, but together.

Mary (13:41.561)
Yeah.

Mary (13:47.044)
think that that’s so empowering because it’s so true. mean, we’ll scroll social media, whether it’s, you know, LinkedIn, whether it’s Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, you know, whatever it might be. And it appears that everybody else is living this really luxurious life. And depending on the platform, right, I’m on LinkedIn a lot. I live on LinkedIn. And you see all these people with amazing businesses and they’re building these really, really cool personal brands. And from the outside, it’s like, well, geez.

They’re so successful. I’m so jealous of that. know, in reality, maybe they’re successful, maybe they’re not, but you know, like you said, what they’re doing, if that’s something that you want, you can achieve that. You you can set up the stepping stones and start taking the steps now to really embody that and, you know, to start.

pursuing your dreams and pursuing those things that you really want to do and you really want to achieve in life. And I really, you know, I love this idea of the fearless visioning because it’s like, there’s no holding back. Like, what do you want? You know, start with that mindset shift, start thinking about what is it that I want? And, you know, instead of limiting yourself to, no, I can’t do that. No, I can’t do that.

shift that mindset first and tell yourself that you freaking can do that. And then, you know, start taking, start laying the foundation today to start making that dream a reality. And so, you know, something that I was kind of thinking about when you were talking and, you know, I think for a lot of us, it’s like, yeah, maybe I’ll see somebody on social media and I’m like, yeah, that’s really cool. Maybe I would like doing that. You know, maybe I would love that. Maybe I wouldn’t. So, so for someone that’s kind of

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (15:13.488)
Yeah.

Mary (15:37.476)
more uncertain about their future, what steps could they take now to kind of create a really clear vision for their life?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (15:47.235)
Yeah, so anything I would say, and this is not against anyone, right? We have lots of responsibilities and lots of priorities. And so anything that you shift and change is likely going to help monumentally because you’re probably not doing it now, not because you don’t want to, just because there’s a lot of priorities on your plate.

Mary (15:58.296)
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (16:14.083)
And so what I would say is the first thing is carve out time for you. And when I say carve out time for you, a lot of people will say, but you just said I didn’t have time. And that’s exactly the truth. Anything that you can carve out for you, for yourself, to get exploratory with you is incredibly helpful. So what I say is even if it’s a few minutes a day or a few minutes a week, start there. Because starting somewhere is going to be

better than probably what you are doing now just because of circumstances. So I would say carve out some time for yourself and then during that time, ask yourself some questions like what kind of life would I like to live? What are some of the things that recently have triggered some of my jealousies? Like it’s okay, like there’s nothing, the word jealousy is so taboo but there’s nothing wrong with that. Like what have you seen other people do that you’re like,

Dang, I’d kinda like that. You know, that would kinda be cool. Allow yourself to go to that place where you’re exploring how you wanna live, what you wanna accomplish, what you wanna have, what you wanna do. Think of some of your besties that are doing things that you’re like, that’s so cool. I might wanna experience that, even if it’s on a micro scale, right? Even if it’s they’re going to certain events that you would like to go to.

And that’s where the visioning starts, is just opening yourself up. Now, another thing that I think is really good is solitary time, where you’re just kind of allowing whatever thoughts need to come up to come up. So our minds can race a mile a minute. And there is something called an internal voice, an internal sort of guiding system.

that very often we’re not listening to just because there’s so much noise external to ourselves or just so much noise in our own minds. And so really asking yourself these questions will trigger that internal voice to start speaking to you more. Start listening to it. And wherever you start to hear something come up that would be really cool for your life or something that you want to achieve, write it down and go back to it during the time that you’re spending with yourself.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (18:29.273)
Self-care can also be really great because when you’re not focusing on work, when you’re not focusing on anyone else and you’re just shutting yourself down, you’re really allowing that external noise to quiet and that internal voice to get a little bit higher. So this is all about shutting off everything and connecting to yourself. And that’s where the visioning really starts and allowing for yourself to let anything that needs to come up, come up.

I remember when I was starting my business, I would get triggered all the time by people who were, 100K months, 100K months, 100K launches, da da da da da da da. And I would almost kind of just keep scrolling. And when I would sit with that, I would ask myself, do I want to have 100K launch? Do I want to have 100K month? Do I want to be able to achieve this? That would be pretty nice. OK, cool.

Mary (19:05.188)
Yeah, right. Dang.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (19:25.775)
What would I need to do to even just start the process of getting there? So it’s about being okay with where you are and exploring what you want.

Mary (19:37.818)
Yeah, I love that you brought up the fact of just how important it is to carve out time for yourself. And I think for me, that was a really hard lesson that I learned in 2024 because my entire life was gym, work, my son comes home, do kid stuff, do family stuff, and then go to bed.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (19:46.32)
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (19:54.149)
Yeah.

Mary (20:05.402)
I got to the point where, number one, I faced a lot of burnout in the summer of 2024. And I realized that I just, wasn’t doing anything to carve time out for myself to the point where I was like, is anything that I’m doing actually bringing me joy anymore? You know, like if I, what do I find fun? You know, it got to the point where I just, couldn’t, I couldn’t tap into that.

And so, you know, the first thing that I started doing was carving out a little bit of time for myself. Even if that’s like, you know, I, what I started doing personally was taking, you know, 20 to 30 minutes between finishing work and spending family time, starting my family time to read a book. And that encouraged me to sit down with my thoughts even more because I was reading, you know, more business books, self-help books, positive psychology books. And, you know, what I did was

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (20:36.635)
I’m ready.

Mary (21:01.952)
it really encouraged me to start a journaling practice where I started to write down my thoughts and my feelings and I wrote a mission statement for myself. And then I realized that, you know, some of these things that I’ve been prioritizing all year, they’re draining my battery. They’re not, you know, yes, I should be focusing on these things, but there are other areas in my life that are also important that

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (21:18.649)
Mmm.

Mary (21:26.294)
I need to start dedicating some time and attention to. And I never would have heard that inner voice if I wouldn’t have carved out that initial time for myself to start reading and to have a little bit of quiet time and to start thinking about how I’m feeling and is what I’m doing currently, is that serving me well or is there something some other way that I could be spending my time that would be better for my mental health and my physical health?

than everything else that goes along with that.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (21:57.529)
Yeah, and you know, I my heart just like goes out to every

mom. I think moms are like the most amazing beings ever because not only that you can create life but that you really sustain this life on this planet. can’t even imagine. have a dog and I’m like what is going on now. But I think it’s really challenging for moms in particular because you do have you know other humans that are counting on you and it can be really challenging to say well I’m going to put myself first for a moment. But that is

Mary (22:12.894)
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (22:33.085)
essentially what you need to do. as hard as it is and as tough and challenging as it can be, it’s so essential to start somewhere. And I was reading somewhere, and I can’t remember where I was reading it, that a working mom has the equivalent of 3.5 jobs. And that like blew my mind. Like it really blew my mind. But that’s where I say we…

Mary (22:49.914)
I believe it.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (22:58.797)
Each of us individually have different things that we’re juggling. Moms in particular have so much on their plate, but it’s essential to acknowledge that and say, and I still deserve, me time.

Mary (23:11.776)
So how do you guide your clients in taking proactive and intentional actions toward their dreams? Could you give us an example of somebody that you’ve worked with?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (23:25.123)
Yeah, so when it comes to being intentional, you have to set the intention. it was really, I can actually talk about one of my clients, her name was Sonia. Gosh, she just brings so much joy to my heart. But Sonia was having a really, really challenging time. She was living in Chicago at the time. She was having a really challenging time finding a job in Chicago. And when we worked together, we worked really diligently to work on our networking skills, all those things that all of your guests talk about.

But I felt it so deeply that there was something missing. And I remember when Sonia came to me and said, you know what, I feel called to leave Chicago. I feel called to move to Georgia because she had some family there. She wanted to leave the Chicago winters. And she set that intention. She said, you know, I’m going to completely just, I’m going to stop looking for jobs in Chicago because I know eventually I’m going to leave.

My intention is to move to Georgia. My intention is to find a great job there with better pay, and I’m gonna move myself to Georgia so that I can have a better life and lifestyle. She was also, her son was going to college, so she was also transitioning in her life to being an amnester. She wanted a change. Let me tell you, when she set that intention, she applied to 14 jobs. She got a job in Georgia within a month after applying, and she moved immediately.

Mary (24:39.426)
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (24:52.891)
across the country from Chicago to Georgia. And this is what I mean when you say intentional, right? Being intentional about your actions, it starts first with the intention. Sometimes we don’t even know what it is that we want, and so thus we don’t even know what we’re looking for. And this goes to job searching, to career, to life. We have to be crystal clear on what is it that I want, and also unapologetic about it.

Very often we’ll say, want something, but you feel bad about wanting it, or you think it’s selfish to have it, or there’s some kind of dirty idea around you being able to have this thing. I want to be a millionaire, but I was taught that money is bad. I want to have this kind of job, but I think that I’m not worth it. You have to be very clear on your intention, and then really, really clear out any negativity you have around that.

Mary (25:23.791)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (25:46.755)
and then the actions that you take are gonna be so aligned to that intention. So if you’re taking action and not getting an outcome, I would go back to, you actually know what you really want? And have you really clarified that and cleared out any of that negativity around it? Because the actions that you’re taking may not actually be the best actions, because you’re not starting with the right starting point.

Mary (26:09.882)
Yeah, so, you know, I know that you had mentioned taking time out to really sit with yourself and to figure out what that right starting point is. What might be the next step that somebody could take if they’re like, still, I can’t really figure out what intentions I should be setting for my life.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (26:30.351)
Yeah, so if you’re not exactly sure, this is the place where I would say, what experiences do you want to try to have next? So I’ll use an example. Often in the career space, and I use career a lot because that’s where I started my business, but often in the career space, we’ll ask people, where do you want your career path to go? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Where do you see yourself in five years? That can be so incredibly overwhelming for people.

So the question that I really like to ask people is in the next six months to one year, what are some really cool experiences you would like to have? Like what would you like to learn? What are some great things you would like to do? What would you like to try? And so if you’re not sure, sometimes shortening the time frame or the depth of what you’re looking at can be really great. So just asking yourself, what is something that I think would be really cool to do in the next six months?

or what would I love to have happened at the end of 2025 that would make me feel like this year was my year, like it was a successful year for me. So giving yourself a shorter anchor point can help you almost think about it from a different perspective. If I just thought about the next six months, what kind of life would I want to have in the next six months? What are some cool things I would like to do? If I thought about it in my career, what are some cool projects I would want to work on? Who are some great people I would want to know? What are some good experiences I would want to have? So that could be really helpful.

And then once you get some ideas, go talk to people. Like if you get the idea of, wow, I would really love to have the experience of being a manager in this field. Go talk to some people who are managers in your field. If you get the idea that you really would love to create financial wealth for your family, go talk to some people who have built wealth in different ways and understand how they’ve done it. So if you stay within your bubble,

you’re never gonna get the answers you’re looking for because you don’t have them yet. So how would you come up with them now? So you gotta step out of your comfort zone. it’s not, think everything starts internal, but it’s about the ideas that come from the internal in terms of just like, what do I wanna try? But then you have to break out of that and you have to get out into the world because the experiences are not here, they’re here. You have to go have the experiences.

Mary (28:23.712)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. That’s a good point.

Mary (28:51.066)
Totally. Yeah, and when you talk about that comfort zone and really breaking out of the comfort zone and figuring out what exactly it is that you want and then taking the action to go for it, one thing that comes to my mind and that probably gets in the way of a lot of people when you’re thinking about reinvention and transformation, really transforming your life, is this concept of fear.

You know, and figuring out, my gosh, I’ve been a financial advisor for the last 20 years and what I actually want to do is career coaching. But how could I possibly leave my cushy job with a nice paycheck to pursue something, you know, that’s completely outside of the box. It’s completely stepping out of my comfort zone and going in a different direction.

And I know I’ve worked with lot of clients over the last several years and who really, they’re struggling because they’re not happy with what they’re doing now and they want to make that change, but they’re scared. So what would you say to that person?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (30:00.207)
Yeah. my gosh, I love this so much. So I have this theory that we think about where we are and the end goal, and we think about this gigantic leap that we have to take to the end goal, when there are probably 500 steps in between, and we never actually think about what’s just one step, right?

For the example that you gave where you mentioned I’ve been a financial advisor and I want to become a career coach, well, why not start with business coaching so that you can really experience coaching, get one or two clients that you can help with their business finances since you’ve been a financial coach, and see how it feels to just coach people and experience what that’s like. So it’s really about the steps in between.

So we trigger our fear because we’re thinking about this giant leap we have to take when really it’s like that’s the end goal. And you don’t even know if that’s really the end goal because you haven’t done anything in between. So why don’t we set that as a potential end goal and then say to ourselves, what’s one step that I can take that would allow me to have an experience that gets me closer to that end goal?

that I can take now with the knowledge base that I have.

Mary (31:31.343)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (31:31.843)
And I think that’s a great place to start because even though you might still be scared, the fear feels significantly less for you and therefore you can take a step.

Mary (31:47.33)
Yeah, I mean, you don’t have to go from point A to point Z all in the same day or all in the same week. I completely agree. It’s like, you know, you don’t have to quit your job as a financial advisor and jump into career coaching. Maybe you start with a certification or, you know, maybe you start providing those services for free, right? Get your first client, start, you know, getting your program put into place, start getting your website put into place and just start taking

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (32:05.017)
Yeah.

Mary (32:16.376)
those small steps, start building the foundation for what could be something, you know, eventually that you’re able to quit that, that full-time job and step into this thing. But you’ve built the foundation and you’ve built the client base. And so now it’s a little bit easier to go from, okay, I’m going to quit that cushy, you know, nine to five job. I’m going to step into something that maybe is a little bit more risky, but it’s more aligned to, you know, me and my passion. And

You know, I think that you’re absolutely right. There is kind of a misconception out there that it’s like, you have to go from zero to a hundred and that’s not the case at all. mean, even when I was building my own business, I was working a nine to five job and I honestly, I never had the intention at all for it to become a full-time thing, but I was laying the foundation and I was being really scrappy and I was doing lots of things to push the business forward. Right.

And then eventually, you know, fast forward like five years down the road, 10 years down the road, I was like, well, maybe I actually could do this full time, you know? And so even if you have the intention of eventually going full time with something, you still need to take those same steps, you know, get outside of your comfort zone and start building those blocks to set yourself up for the future.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (33:40.795)
Absolutely, and I think this also plays into patience. And it isn’t just about the fear, it’s also about the patience. It will come and it will happen. And you just have to take those beautiful steps that you mentioned. Take those small steps and then allow yourself to be in the process and allow yourself to be patient.

And I tell you, I talk about patience all the time with my clients. I have zero. I am working on it, right? Like patience is something that I am working on. But it really is so incredibly helpful to know that like the process really is what I am meant to go through and the outcome will happen when it’s ready to. And I can put in that effort for those small steps.

Mary (34:05.754)
Right.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (34:26.85)
And sometimes it is going to be a little bit scary. It’s not meant for fear to ever go away. Fear is a biological mechanism. It’s always there. But how can you just be one degree higher than the fear, your courage, your confidence, be one degree higher than the fear? That’s really all you need. You don’t need an immense level of courage or confidence to do something. You just need it to be one degree higher than the fear. And you’ll take action.

Mary (34:51.982)
Yeah, it makes me think about, so I was reading a book on happiness and you know, the happiest people, they’re not thinking like, I want to be doing this, you know, I’m living now so that I can be doing this in 10 years. The happiest people are the ones that are enjoying the process, right? They’re enjoying the day to day life. They can be present and they can find joy in some of those small things in life.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (35:12.355)
Mm-hmm.

Mary (35:21.12)
Even if it’s just finding joy in the fact that you’re able to take a little bit of time for yourself to start listening to that inner voice and figuring out what it is I want. And then taking joy in the fact that you took that first step to reach that goal. And when it comes to happiness and really feeling fulfilled in life, I think that that can be a huge mindset shift as well.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (35:46.221)
Yeah, was that the book by Mogawant?

Mary (35:49.466)
It was… No… Oh, I can’t remember what the author’s name was. Darn it, I just listened to him on a podcast too. Um, yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (35:57.357)
Yeah, there’s a, Mogawad is a great, he’s like the happiness expert. wrote a mathematical equation book on happiness, which I thought was hilarious. Like now we’re mathematically equating happiness, but it was, it’s really, it’s very similar where it’s embracing where you are and just kind of being where you are. I think there was also another book called The Power of Now. I recently ordered it and I’m getting ready to read it, which is also very similar. Just be present with yourself.

Mary (36:01.39)
That’s okay.

Mary (36:14.232)
Yeah.

Mary (36:24.282)
Okay. Yeah, I just looked it up. So it’s, it’s happier by Tal Ben Shahar. Yeah. Yep. So, and he’s a professor at Harvard, I believe. So yeah. Very cool. Yeah. Complete lie. I wouldn’t, don’t read the book. No. But it was really a, you know, it’s eye opening. I love reading those types of, you know, positive psychology books. It’s, you know, it’s absolutely incredible.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (36:30.427)
Oh, okay, I’m gonna have check that out.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (36:36.903)
I’m a yelling, so everything he says is a lie.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (36:45.669)
Yeah.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (36:49.731)
Absolutely, absolutely. And I think that goes to like just making sure that you’re curating your life with positivity. Like I love how you’re doing that, like reading all of these positive psychology and happiness books because you know, I’m all for like reality TV and zoning out and doing all of that. But we also need to be ingesting the things that make us feel good in the moments too.

Mary (36:59.662)
Yeah, totally.

Mary (37:11.652)
Yeah.

Mary (37:16.506)
Totally.

Mary (37:19.898)
So for anybody that’s listening to this right now that’s ready to embrace change, but they aren’t really sure where to start, what advice would you offer to help them take the first step toward reinvention today?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (37:34.863)
Yeah. Ask yourself, what has triggered me recently? What have I seen that I’ve really wanted? And what experiences would I really love to have in this lifetime? And it isn’t about where you are, but really focus on where you might want to go and give yourself that time and space to really explore that. I think exploration of those kinds of key things

really gets you going, man, because then you start thinking like, wow, you know, I would like that. I could have that. Maybe I could have that. Ooh, maybe I really could have that. You start to kind of activate something within you that’s just dormant right now because of just, we’re just going through the rigor and role of life and that’s okay. But once you start to activate that part of you, it doesn’t shut up. Like it won’t quiet down and it will continue to speak to you. It will continue to activate.

Mary (38:06.394)
He

Mary (38:13.334)
Mmm, I could.

Mary (38:27.812)
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (38:32.811)
and you will start to desire more and take more steps towards it. So I would say just give yourself the time to explore what’s out there that you want because if you want it, it can be yours.

Mary (38:44.522)
Mmm, so powerful. Well, Jasmine, where can we find you on social media?

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (38:49.851)
I’ll on the LinkedIn streets every day all day. I’ll be right there with you. Right there with you, Mary. On them LinkedIn streets. Seriously, you had commented on my post today and I was like, dang, I’m gonna see you on there. I’m on them LinkedIn streets. Oh yeah, no. mean, please, anyone who wants to know a little bit more about what I do or just even has questions about transformation and reinvention, please check me out on LinkedIn. I post about it.

Mary (38:53.892)
Heck yeah. Heck yeah, I’ll be there. I’ll see you out there on the streets.

Mary (39:04.633)
I

I’m quick, I’m quick.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (39:19.931)
pretty much every day, just like Mary do. Talking about it, I love talking about it, so please hit me up in the DMs, connect with me, and I’d be happy to address any of your questions.

Mary (39:29.954)
Awesome, Jasmine. Thanks so much for coming on today.

Dr. Jasmine Escalera (39:32.367)
Thank you.